can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
