Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize