I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
