He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize