Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.

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(801): View more from Utah

He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!

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