Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize