yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
