Buhtt sex?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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