Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
