the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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