You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
