its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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