I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I love you. Go after that dick
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
