she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
