Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
