Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
