Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
