how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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