and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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