Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
