ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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