Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
