Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
