so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
