STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
