is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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