So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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