How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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