I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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