Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How does one acquire holy water?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
