I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
