I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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