he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
