Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize