i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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