i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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