He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Drunk is not a location!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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