You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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