hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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