i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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