Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
