So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
