Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
