is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize