I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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