So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
