If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
