I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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