The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
