I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
another moral hangover. fuck.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
