so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think my moral compass just broke
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
