Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
