11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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