What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
