i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
