theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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