yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
